1. 2 months and counting

    Phew.
    Spending the first two months in Singapore gave me an ample time to reassess my life and the year that was. Trying to view life in a backward manner, you get a sense of why things happened and slowly begin to understand why the universe had to restructure itself so that life would unfold as it is. Admittedly, the past two months, and the year per se was not a smooth sailing journey for me. I had my dose of frustrations, disappointments, happiness and surprises. Thinking about it now, I believe it is universe’s way of balancing things– you can never be too happy all throughout; or at least, happiness is something you work for and strive to achieve everyday. It is definitely a choice. Needless to say, despite all the difficulties, I managed to extract whatever happy moments that I can get from this.

    I was overwhelmed by the change that is looming before me. I try mightily to cling unto the life I have back then– it is a constant struggle of choice between the setting I hold so dearly versus the thing that I’ve always dreamed of and wanted from the very start. It is choosing between two great things; the only deciding factor is which weighs more, especially that I have been in a relationship for a year now.

    You see, before I left, I had a hard time reconciling with the fact that I need to leave everything behind in few months time. “Travel light,” I constantly remind myself. “You need to cut off the extra and unnecessary baggage, unless you want to pay the price.”

    That is easier said than done. Selfish as it may sound, I want to take everything with me. I would like to make as much moments and memories strong enough to make people not forget. I would like to convince myself that everything would stay the way they are.

    But they won’t. People change, things will change. In as much as I am anticipating new things and experiences to come to my life, and so will there be in the lives of the people I will leave behind.

    Change. I just hope it is always for the better.

    In my attempt to make sense of these things, I listed five life lessons I learned these past few months living alone, and my stay here in Singapore as an OFW.

    1. Life is simple. It is the way it is. You get what you give, and receive what you deserve. A lot of people over analyze things (I myself included) when in fact, the secret to understanding life is trying to less complicate things. I don’t even know if this is the job for me! I am just thankful that it pays the bill!

    2. We are all products of our choices. Our lives are our own making. Now it doesn’t matter to me if we make right choices or not– we all learn from our past mistakes. What is more important is making conscious choices, so that we live with no regrets. It is being aware of who you are becoming and not blaming whoever for the choices you make. This I realized after I made peace with a very important part of myself, to the people I love.

    3. Always be in a constant state of gratitude. There are one hundred and one reasons to be thankful for the life you got. So smile often!!!

    4. Don’t be afraid to let people in. Once in a while, we need to push for something beyond the pain just doing it alone. And though it requires a lot of courage to take someone in, I believe it is still worth every risk. It becomes the basis of having something or someone to come home to.

    5. Change is an inevitable and sometimes inconvenient fact of life. But if we learn how to handle things and stir life in our preferred direction, then change is good.

    I guess for most part, we just have to live with no regrets, just love.

     
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  3. This song gives me a little bit of nostalgia

     

  4. "Little by little, we’ll get where we want to go. Step by step, we’ll be where we want to be."
     
  5. Achievement unlocked: Self portrait on a Shinto shrine
    Fushimi-inari, Kyoto, Japan

    I always admired the Japanese. Be it their culture, way of life, and values. Well, of course it was backed up by watching too much anime when i was little. Nevertheless, i won’t get tired of appreciating and coming over to their country.

     
  6. Malacca, Malaysia
    June 2013

     

  7. Death is the very best invention of life

    "When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

    Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

    -Steve Jobs

     

  8. Beijo roubado em Segredo (A stolen kiss)
    Beautiful portuguese song.

     
  9. Torii gate

     

  10. Hello there

    It’s been a while. I have lots of things to write right now but it seems that i cannot type’m again. Neverhteless, it’s good to be back on posting relevant stuff here instead of meager updates. Oh, and i renewed my domain contract so this means i will have the reason to update this every now and then. 

     

  11. "But every once in a while, you find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare."
     
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  13. Japanese house

     

  14. Wishy washy

    The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something.  So stop daydreaming and start DOING.  Develop a backbone, not a wishbone.  Take full responsibility for your life – take control.  You are important and you are needed.  It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday.  Someday is now.

     

  15. Lakeshore

    November 2014

    It persisted as a riddle. Sometimes i’d think it must have been all a delusion, from start to finish a fantasy I cooked up in my head. Or maybe a very long realistic dream that somehow I’d mixed up with reality. But it did happen.

    I woke up in a sunny afternoon, just past lunch. Opened the gates, and crossed the 6-meter carriageway. Across the street stood a picket fence, where you can see a vacant lot on the other side. In there a tree stood, and a hammock clings with sheer confidence, slowly swaying to the November breeze.From the top of this hill you can see the lakeshore, and the MagLev highway farther north.

    “I really like you, Firefly. A lot. You know that already, right?”
    “Yes. How much is a lot?”
    “Like a spring bear,” I said.
    “A spring bear?” Firefly looked up again. “What’s that all about? A spring bear.”
    “You’re walking through a field all by yourself one day in spring, and this sweet little bear cub with velvet fur and shiny little eyes comes walking along. And he says to you, “Hi, there, little lady. Want to tumble with me?’ So you and the bear cub spend the whole day in each other’s arms, tumbling down this clover-covered hill. Nice, huh?”
    “Yeah. Really nice.”
    “That’s how much I like you. Maybe more, but not less.”

    "But you know I kind of miss those days when we’re still getting to know each other."
    "What do you mean?"
    "You know, those days when I think you are still interested enough in me to peel out my every layer."
    "But I still do! Why are you talking like that?"
    "I don’t know. I just feel that there will really come a time when people get used to each other’s presence so much that they start to get bored — then things change."
    "But i will not get bored. You’re just overthinking."
    "I hope I am! See, this thing that I have, overthinking, can really do so much damage."
    "Hey stop it."

    “I have a million things to talk to you about. All I want in this world is you. I want to see you and talk. And it would really mean so much if you will tell me the things that you feel. It makes me feel much closer even if we’ll be far apart.”
    "You are one clingy person."
    “I guess so. I know I’m doing some terrible things to you, making demands and not giving you anything in return, saying whatever pops into my head, dragging you out and forcing you to go somewhere, but you’re the only one I can do stuff like that to! I’ve never been able to have my own way with anybody, not once in the years I’ve been alive. My father, my mother, they never paid the slightest attention to me, and my friends, well, most of them are just not that kind of people. You’re the only one I can say these things to. And now I’m really, really, really tired and I want to fall asleep listening to someone tell me how they feel and how their day went on and stuff. That’s all I want. And when I wake up, I’ll be full of energy and I’ll never make these kinds of selfish demands again.”

    “Say, how much did you miss me?’ 
    "Enough to melt all the tigers in the world to butter,’ I said.”

    Well to elaborate things more, I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. Just as you take care of the birds and the fields every morning, every morning I wind my own spring. I give it some 36 good twists by the time I’ve got up, brushed my teeth, shaved, eaten breakfast, changed my clothes, left the for work and arrived at the office. I tell myself, “OK, let’s make this day another good one.” I hadn’t noticed before, but they tell me I talk to myself a lot these days. Probably mumbling to myself while I wind my spring.

    (Source: peculiarhours)